RETIREMENT FROM SPORT: What does ‘healthy’ look like?

By Rachelle Rogers, GB Alpine Skier, AI Lead Project Manager

When I think about the word ‘healthy’ and what it means to me as well as others, my head spins with so many things it wants to say. Last week was Eating Disorder Awareness Week and whilst I have never suffered from an eating disorder; being female, having been an elite athlete and having now discovered I have gluten intolerance…I have had and still have challenges around food. 

I remember when I was in sixth form at school, one afternoon my entire year were called into the lecture room to be addressed by the headmistress over a rising concern of people being at risk from developing eating disorders. It had come to the staff’s attention that there was a widespread mentality amongst my peers of significant under-eating occurring stemming from the influence of apps that allow the user to track calories. It turns out my peers were restricting themselves to about x calories a day. I remember sitting there being shocked because I knew I burnt about x calories in one interval session on the bike. This was the first time I became aware of diet culture and how misinformation can create a toxic view on what is ‘healthy’ and what we ‘should’ look like.

When I look back on my time as an elite athlete with regards to eating and fueling my body, I am specifically grateful for two people: my strength & conditioning coach and my nutritionist. Both entered my life at a time I was probably most vulnerable to developing insecurities about my body and the link that has with eating habits. However, thanks to their approach I never got caught up in anxieties around numbers.

For example, I was initially advised to drink powdered chocolate and milk post workout by my strength & conditioning coach because I was still quite young and thus my body didn’t really need to have protein shakes. Later, my nutritionist came on board when I was ready to start looking at the impact nutrition has on my sporting performance because I was maturing towards being a fully grown adult. She focused more on what type of food I eat and when, rather than the amount I should eat. Both of these approaches were really positive and whilst I still felt a bit insecure, especially when I was just in my skin tight lycra suit for competitions, overall I had a healthy relationship with food because of the approach of my support network.

As I transitioned out of sport, things changed. My nutritional requirements changed significantly and I had no support managing this.

As I transitioned out of sport, things changed. My nutritional requirements changed significantly and I had no support managing this. The first few months of retirement were ok because I was still going to the gym. However, once I began flight school my participation in sport and physical activity pretty much ceased to exist. My focus was very much on my studies, especially during the theoretical knowledge stages of training because it is very intensive (as anyone who has gone through it can tell you)! Then when I began working, I was initially based in Paris living quite an isolated existence there and commuting either to the UK or the Netherlands on my days off to see my family and boyfriend. I didn’t have the time or energy to do sport and I was making unbalanced food choices, so without me really realising, my weight began to creep up.

After one and a half years of being based in Paris with this commuter lifestyle, my request to transfer to the Netherlands got accepted. Although I was commuting less (I still traveled when I could to see my family), I still did not participate in sport and physical activity initially. I did join a gym but I found it hard to fit that in around my work schedule due to the shift nature of my work and I carried on making unbalanced food choices. The weight kept on creeping up until December 2019, when I realised just how much my body had changed and I had gone past a limit that I was comfortable with. So I decided there and then to lose weight and claim a balanced lifestyle in retirement with regards to sport, physical activity and food. 

In January 2020, I jetted off to Lausanne to volunteer at the Winter Youth Olympic Games where I would be working in the office at the Main Operations Centre. I was staying just north of Lausanne with a local family I knew and was taking public transport each day into work. I decided to begin building a balanced lifestyle by choosing to get off at the main train station rather than the one near my office and walk to the office via a longer route, which took me down to the shores of Lac Léman. It was a very beautiful walk! This helped me walk over 8km per day. I also cut out chocolate, biscuits, cakes and any other processed foods. Just by making those two changes, I began to feel better in myself. I came home, stood on the scales and was happy with the number I saw. I made a commitment to myself there and then that I would never go above that number again. I am proud to say, three years later that I have managed to keep that commitment which means I have stabilised my weight and body shape. But what does that mean with regards to being ‘healthy’?

What we should be being told is that healthy looks different on everyone and at different stages of their life.

As a female, we are sold this idea that a ‘desirable’ body ‘should’ be tall skinny legs, a flat stomach, a certain breast shape / size and perhaps slender fingers with delicate looking hands. This is the longstanding idea that the diet, fitness, make-up and fashion industries (to name a few) market to us as being ‘healthy’ and what we ‘should’ look like. But what we should be being told is that healthy looks different on everyone and at different stages of their life. As a 19 year old xkg athlete, I was healthy because I was well above average in terms of participation in physical activity and I was fueling my body to meet the needs to sustain the demands I was putting on my body. Now, as a 27 year old xkg person I am healthy because I am physically active on pretty much a daily basis (thanks to looking after a herd of horses) and I make balanced food choices that mean I meet the demands of my daily lifestyle; but I also don’t punish myself or feel guilty for eating a bit of chocolate here and there, or (gluten free) pizza etc.! The difference between my 19 year old self and my 27 year old self is actually not a lot if you look at me. I still fit into some (not all – and that’s totally ok) of my clothes from back then and my body composition is a little different, but if you look at me you would probably just see a ‘balanced’ body; which is a reflection of the choices I make and the approach I have. I don’t cut out any food groups (except obviously things with gluten in), I don’t restrict my calories, I don’t weigh or count out what I am eating. I just make balanced choices and I enjoy my food!

The difference between my 19 year old self and my 27 year old self is actually not a lot if you look at me. I still fit into some (not all – and that’s totally ok) of my clothes from back then and my body composition is a little different, but if you look at me you would probably just see a ‘balanced’ body; which is a reflection of the choices I make and the approach I have.

Other people are allowed to have a different opinion of me. They may see me as ‘fat’ or ‘unhealthy’ but that is only their judgment of me – not how I perceive myself. Their opinion of me is based on their perception of what ‘healthy’ looks like which may be created from misinformation they’ve been fed or what society projects onto them of what a woman in her late 20s ‘should’ look like. They do not know how I live my life. They do not know that I am probably on my feet more than they are on a daily basis cleaning the horses and filling hay nets. They do not know that in the spring and summer I love going out cycling. They do not know that I make balanced choices with regards to my food and have a healthy relationship with food. And they do not know that I am never thinking about what I am eating, that I am actually just listening to my intuition and, like with animals, letting it tell me what my body needs in a given moment. So yes, they can think I am ‘fat’ or ‘unhealthy’ because they do not know me and are only making a judgment based on their own perceptions, but I know that I live a balanced, active and healthy lifestyle. 

So to finish off, here are some reminders from Amber’s post for Eating Disorder Awareness Week:

  • Skinnier, smaller, lighter is NOT faster, better, stronger.

  • It shouldn’t be the norm to avoid certain food groups.

  • You shouldn’t feel scared or guilty or anxious around ANY element of your nutrition.

  • No food is good or bad.

  • No food is inherently healthy or unhealthy.

  • Cheat meals are not a thing.

  • Calories are just a unit of energy.

  • ‘Healthy’ looks different on everyone.

  • It’s normal for the weight at which you naturally sit to change over time.

  • Some people have naturally flat stomachs, the majority of people cannot do that without being unhealthy.

  • BMI is just completely a load of rubbish (speaking for myself i.e. Rachelle here, I was ‘overweight’ according to the BMI scale when I was a 19 year old elite athlete…!).

  • If you’re hungry, EAT.

  • If you think you’re hungry, you probably are.

  • Mealtimes don’t need to be set in stone).

  • Snacking is good.

  • Detoxes are nonsense.

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The day I got help for my Eating Disorder

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